Cynicism- troubling the modern Christian

By Chris Brantner

I can’t count the number of times that people have told me to “stop being so cynical!” My typical response involves eye rolling and something like “quit being so naïve.” However, now that I’m well into my 20’s, I find myself looking inward and reevaluating my character. Here are the questions I’m asking of myself:

1. What exactly does “being cynical” mean?
2. Am I really a cynical person?
3. Does being cynical make me miserable?
4. Do I think I am better than other people?
5. Can I truly be a Christian and a Cynic?

While the answers to these questions meant little to me a few years ago, I feel like they’re necessary to further my journey into full-fledged adulthood. If you’re still a teenager, don’t think this doesn’t apply to you. You’ll be where I stand in the blink of an eye.

Modern Cynicism- I Don’t Know You and I Don’t Trust You

First of all, we need to know what cynicism means. Not to be confused with the ancient philosophical movement, modern day cynicism is basically extreme skepticism of the human race. In other words, the modern cynic pretty much distrusts everything and everyone.

So in reference to my second question, yes I think it’s safe to say I’m a pretty cynical guy. When I meet someone new, I almost always mistrust them. When I see a politician on the television promising me things, my stomach hurts and I change the channel. As a matter of fact, I stopped going to church for almost 10 years because I had a hard time swallowing the words that came out of the preachers’ mouths.

Don’t get me wrong, my skepticism isn’t directed at any one type of person. It’s just people in general. I find that people tend to do bad things and are almost always out only for themselves. And don’t think I haven’t put this idea to the test. Nearly every time I’ve given someone the benefit of the doubt and trusted that they had genuine motives—well, they let me down.

Cynicism and Happiness- Can I Have Both?

If you ask me, I’d say I’m a pretty happy person. I know I’m blessed with lots of good things. A successful career, a loving family, fun friends… I’ve been given lots of things in my lifetime and I recognize they all came from God.

But how can I be happy and enjoy the company of friends and family when I’m so wrapped up in assuming the worst in people? Well, that’s a good question with a difficult answer. First of all, I’m not one of those people with a large friend group (I know you’re shocked by that). I generally hang out with my immediate family and a mere handful of people I’d call true friends. These are the only people in this world that I genuinely feel like I can trust.

Trust is something I don’t give lightly. Trust takes work. You have to build it over a long period of time. Everyone I call a friend (including my close relatives) has put in many years of earning my trust. And likewise, I’d like to think that I’ve worked really hard to gain theirs.

Outside of my small friend group I have acquaintances. These are people I know, converse with, and maybe even hang out with on occasion. For the most part I enjoy their company, but usually in small increments. Do I trust these people? Eh… not really. Underneath all the casual conversation and friendly smiles, my brain is spinning, wondering what motivates their behaviors. And frankly, nothing surprises me. When I find out an acquaintance is in jail for some crime or has betrayed me behind my back— am I shocked? Not at all. Because I believe people are motivated by self-interest.   

The nice thing about my extreme skepticism is that every now and then someone comes along who surprises me (e.g. my recent bride and random new friends).

So does that mean I am both happy and cynical? You bet. Since I don’t allow people’s negative behaviors to surprise me, I don’t let them get me down. And when someone like my wife comes along and offers me a pleasant surprise, well I think I actually appreciate it more than the average person. When you have low expectations and someone comes along who completely blows them out of the water, well it’s that much better.

Do Cynics Think They’re Better Than Everyone Else?

I can’t answer this question for other skeptics, because frankly I think I’m better than them… Okay, just kidding. But in all seriousness, I can only apply this to my own experiences. Does distrusting the motives of others force me to set myself up on a pedestal? Well, yes and no.

All my life I’ve tried to hold myself to a higher standard than others. I think I do a good job of analyzing actions and possible consequences. I also try my best to make good decisions. But do I always make the right choices? Of course not.

So if I sometimes make terrible, selfish decisions, does that make me a hypocrite? According to www.merriam-webster.com, a hypocrite is:

1. a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2. a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

As for the first portion of the definition, I try really hard not to put on the appearance of anything to anyone. And for part 2, well if I subscribe to the idea that humans in general are self-serving, doesn’t that mean I would expect myself to be the same way? When I say I hold myself to a higher standard, I mean that I recognize the problem with the human condition. This in turns makes me handle others with suspicion. It also causes me to strive to be different.

Do I fail? All the time. I’m warring with my humanity.

Can I Be a Cynic and a Christian?

To me, a true Christian is someone who tries to be like Christ. That said, could you describe Jesus as cynical? Eh, I suppose you could try. But admittedly, Jesus wasn’t focused so much on human intentions. His main focus was on loving people. Let’s face it, if we truly believe Jesus died for our sins, then that includes everyone’s sins. Mine, yours, and the dirtiest, stinking liar you know.  In fact, Jesus frequently ministered to the dregs of society.

What does that say about me– does my cynicism keep me from being a Christian? Honestly, I’m not sure. I want to be like Christ, yet I fight with my skepticism on a daily basis. And when it comes down to it, I realize that someone could make the argument that my cynical beliefs actually backfire and turn me into what I can’t stand- a selfish jerk.

So now what? I don’t know… but I’m praying for the answers.

What are your thoughts on the issue?